he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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