yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
