he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
