theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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