when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
