Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
