This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have demons in me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
