:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
