I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
