I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
