I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
