So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
