Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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