What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
