think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
