Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
