rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
