I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
