i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
