Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
