I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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