so explain again why im purple
no
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
