there was a trapeze. enough said
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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