God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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