I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
