On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
