My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
