At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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