I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
