I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
