I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
