Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
