a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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