My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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