she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
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Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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