If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.