The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life