Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right

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  (310): if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right http://tfl.nu/zv74
  Replies (11) Good night (2654) Bad night (793)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line

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  (519): who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/dt51
  Replies (19) Good night (4160) Bad night (627)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.

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  (503): Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account. http://tfl.nu/dorm
  Replies (25) Good night (1161) Bad night (3422)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.

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  (832): So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket. http://tfl.nu/78sj
  Replies (27) Good night (1985) Bad night (3436)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers

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  (610): she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers http://tfl.nu/sjqg
  Replies (14) Good night (895) Bad night (4296)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?

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  (970): Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out? http://tfl.nu/2tay
  Replies (4) Good night (2519) Bad night (1823)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.

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  (734): I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it. http://tfl.nu/ex81
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (2223)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place

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  (314): Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place http://tfl.nu/v09l
  Replies (1) Good night (914) Bad night (584)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.

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  (605): I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment. http://tfl.nu/w9a2
  Replies (8) Good night (1083) Bad night (623)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

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  (904): I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends. http://tfl.nu/6wle
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (298)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.

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  (203): You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity (1-203): You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/9k8g
  Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (291)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.

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  (215): Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship. http://tfl.nu/lmdk
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (393)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.

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  (337): You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness. http://tfl.nu/kvta
  Replies (3) Good night (1439) Bad night (294)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.

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  (541): Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god. http://tfl.nu/ma7j
  Replies (0) Good night (196) Bad night (401)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college

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  (561): Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college http://tfl.nu/kc8a
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (254)

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