I CAN MOONWALK!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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