Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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