$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I had to cum in my sink.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
