yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize