Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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