i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
