ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
