Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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