I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
