And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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