Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
