he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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