Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
