"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
