it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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