i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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