Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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