Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
COCAINE IS GR8
Your penis caused this!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
