K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
