PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize