I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
