the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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