what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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