it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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