I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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