ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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